I have had a few messages, friends asking about the headaches and ringing in my ears, so I thought I would clear up a few things.
Is Bob causing all that ruckus- the pounding headache- ringing in my ears? I’m not sure and I think that’s what makes it hard. Where most people have headaches or pressure in their head and dismiss it, I can’t. Talk about trying not to over react….sheesh. I have had issues with my neck and tinnitus since I fell and broke my pelvis in 2013. The doctors discovered that I had also suffered from whiplash due to the fall. Clearly, I need to work on my ‘falling’ skills.
Two weeks ago, I was rear ended while driving with a friend one evening. (because God-forbid life be normal and uneventful for one stinking month) My neck hurt at the time of the accident, but then it disappeared. A week passed and my neck and head started throbbing once more, which is pretty common with neck injuries. I went to see a chiropractor who quickly assessed my situation and came to the conclusion that it was from the accident and that most likely I had inflamed the same area I had injured when I fell. I was so relieved to hear that; “I thought it was Bob, uh, I mean my brain tumor.” Note to self, make sure to not address one said brain tumor as Bob while in public.
With regards to Bob, the doctors gave me a very positive prognosis, with a 93% chance that their little death ray gun (aka gamma knife radiation) zapped the poor little sucker and froze him so He can’t take up any more space in my brain.
Because of my allergic reaction to pain medication and the horrible experience I had when I broke my pelvis 2013, the idea of brain surgery is, well, daunting, although very unlikely. The problem comes in feeling the need to prepare myself to hear anything at my next appointment with my neurosurgeon, which is set for October 15. “It sounds like you are expecting the worst,” my sis lovingly offered. She was right. I was. I was stuck there, like a broken record.
“If I can only prepare myself for every possible scenario, then I won’t get hurt again.”
Isn’t that what we tell ourselves;” If I am in control and I can prepare, then I won’t get hurt,” running scenario after scenario through our heads… and in the meantime, we are losing the joys right before our eyes. Oh we may be physically present, but our mind is elsewhere.
So, dear sisters, rather than fear what could be, let us take a brief look at what may lie ahead, and then move on. MOVE ON. MOVE ON TO THE JOYS.
Bob, but I WILL NOT let you steal my joy today. Bob, I delighted in making nutella and strawberry filled crepes for five sleep-deprived kiddies this morning. You were not even a thought in my head when I hung out with my amazing family, dishing with my sisters over Clooney’s new bride. Bob, you were no where to be seen as I worshiped in church tonight, my arms reaching for a God that is much greater and more powerful that you could ever be. Bob, there will be times that I will talk about you, plan for what changes may come, and then I WILL MOVE ON. MOVE ON TO THE JOYS.