What a week.
We (Karin, Swati and I) met with the neurosurgeon on Wednesday. There is so much I want to say about this day, but in hopes that I don’t vomit out every thought I am having at once, I will start with the basics.
Cedar Sinai has this down pat, soothing music, phenomenal hospitality. I don’t think my voice has ever sounded as soft and tranquil as the gal at the front desk. Was she seriously for real? She informed me that, once again, I parked in the wrong parking structure and she wasn’t able to validate my ticket. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t be frustrated. I wanted to be, but she was so dang beautiful and hypnotic, like a mythical siren. I was so calm in her presence. “Of course,” I responded, with a wide grin, “not a big deal.” If only she had seen me a few days ago!
We received a pager that would light up when it was our turn to go in. I felt like I was waiting for a spa treatment or a four-star restaurant. Ooooh, I’m buzzing. I felt like I had won a prize. Lucky me.
We were ushered in by another gentle woman. Dr. Chu soon entered. He was upbeat and light-hearted. We learned that the radiation worked and not only is Bob no longer growing, but it looks like he has been on a little diet. Bob is slowly shrinking!!
Inhale joy. Exhale worry.
We asked all the usual questions: Will he continue to shrink? What happens if he starts growing again? What symptoms do I need to watch for, because I do come from a long line of over-reactors and I might have a slight tendency to attribute any headache to little ol’ Bobby.
Dr. Chu handled it like a pro. He is going to closely monitor the tumor, ordering scans every six months. “It should continue to shrink over the next year or two. If down the road it begins to grow again, we will just hit it with a little more radiation to shock it. Not a big deal” Nice. Okay. This all sounded good, but I needed to clear something up with the doctor.
He leaned over his ipad in order to pull up an image of my brain so we could take a look. I jumped in; “Actually we kinda refer to the tumor as Bob.” He glanced up at me quickly, then back down at the images before him. A small smile formed;“Ahhh, Bob, you little bastard.”
I knew I loved Dr. Chu.
So, that’s it in a nutshell. I did it. I walked through my moment.
It was time to celebrate. Swati had to run into work, but Karin and I headed over to The Grove. We strolled around, eating candy and processing what the doctor said and how I felt. Many people have close friends, but it’s a rarity to find one who takes the time to learn what you need in hard moments. Oh, I love this girl.
Karin headed home from there and I had a date, second date to be exact. Yes, I actually scheduled a date for that same afternoon. I wasn’t sure at the time if this was my most brilliant move or just plain stupid. Turns out it was brilliant. He was so kind and sweet with me, even as I introduced him to Bob. Bob, meet John. John, this is, ummm, Bob. I might have downplayed it a tad, but nonetheless he gave me a huge hug and celebrated with me. Major points right there. Major points.
I ran over to watch my daughter’s volleyball game. They had to win today; it was that kind of day. We screamed and cheered as they won in overtime, then the gang and I headed out to celebrate with my folks.
Mom showed up with a pound of my favorite See’s candy with “Good Bye Bob” scribbled across the front. We feasted on steak and garlic buns as we created space to be thankful for how this day was ending. It could have ended so differently…. so differently. This dear friends was my sacred moment. The realization my day could have been one of sorrow. Right there in the middle of Wood Ranch BBQ I was able to relish the moment. In this moment, life was beautiful.
There is much to say, but I will leave it at this for the time being.
I’m beaming. I’m grateful and I feel so incredibly loved.
Thank you dear friends for every note, text, email, phone call and prayer sent my way. Each one has been so precious to me. I am humbled that you have joined Bob and I on this journey.