Oh, to be young again…

I took an entire day off yesterday. Off from being a mom. Off from responsibilities. Off from school. Like, totally off.

I was strolling through an Italian villa nestled into the cliff side of Palos Verdes. The grounds were exquisite and the waves crashing on the rocks below were stunning; beauty at its finest. Usually it’s creation that sticks with me, but not this time. As I let my mind roll over memories that were made yesterday, it is a different picture that stayed with me.

Before heading out for a hike,  John and I decided to run back to the car to grab some blankets and water. As we were waiting for valet to bring the car around, we could hear children laughing and squealing from a distance away. Sure enough, a golf cart designed to bring drivers to the front of the lobby pulled into view. The entire back two rows were stuffed with children. I mean, like four or five all squeezed in there, with the last row facing backwards. They were grinning from ear to ear, gripping each other intensely as they can to a stop. There was one little guys waving to onlookers, as if he was riding on a float in a parade.

I took the scene in, letting my eyes linger on their little faces and my ears take in their shrieks of delight.

When did we lose our love of riding on golf carts, I asked, not taking my eyes of the cart, I remember thinking how fun it was to ride in one of those. 

“I haven’t. I still love riding in golf carts,” John added. I glanced at him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Getting ready to move, the cart lunged forward;the children gripped the rails, gripped each other and waved wildly as they pulled out of sight.  I took a death breath, I need to remind myself how I used to love the simple things. 

As we walked through the villa, making our way down to the start of the trails, we passed a steep hill of sprawling green grass. Staying on the path around this hill, I was looking out to where I could see the ocean in the backdrop. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Walking hand in hand with John, I was enjoying the moment until I found myself being yanked off the path and down the hill! What the heck…

Before I knew it, John was leading the way, running down the hill with me in tow. Trying to get my feet underneath me, I finally caught up and began laughing as we picked up speed. We laughed and laughed as we slowed near the bottom.

And as I sit here thinking about this moment, it got me thinking, dear sisters, isn’t that what we need in our crazy stressed-filled lives? Don’t we need moments, little glimpses, of what it was like as a child? Carefree. Simple. Fun.

I want to do this more. Hanging off the end of a golf cart. Running down hills. Getting down on the floor and playing monopoly. Sleeping in a tent inside. Doing an arabesque down the hallway of a fancy hotel. (okay, so we might have done that too) Kissing a nose just because. Eating popcorn in bed. Running through sprinklers with our clothes on. Spraying whipping cream in our mouth.

Oh, dear sisters, let us not forget how to be young. How to enjoy life…. life as it was meant to be.

Full of joy. Full of laughter.

My so-called crazy life

I can’t even begin to describe this week. You know, sometimes we have weeks that are calm and smooth and everything goes as planned aaaand sometimes we don’t . They are crazy and chaotic, and then there are these rare ones that don’t’ even fit in chaotic. Like, you past chaotic a few days ago cuz they are just plain nuts.

Do you know what I’m talking about; we can’t catch our breath. We can’t add one more thing. Life can’t possibly move any faster! Continue reading

A lesson in ‘love without words’

So, an interesting thing happened at church the other night. We were there, Jake (14), Brooke(12) and I (30…. okay, okay, 40).

Now faith is something that my kids have been raised with, but Jake has become more private about it over the past few years.

We have had conversations about how normal it is to doubt and that any discussion is always welcome in this home, but he has shown little interest and even though I have wanted to push, I knew doing so would cause him to withdraw even more. Continue reading

A beautiful sole. A beautiful soul.


This is Alex and Alex. Best friends who happen to live right next door to each other. They love matching outfits and accessories that sparkle. They love to tell people that they are twins… uhhh, girls, maybe you should go with fraternal twins. 

They think life is wonderful and full of beautiful bugs to be held and dance numbers just waiting to be created. Sometimes they make perfect sense, like bribing Alex’s younger brother Zeke with candy so he won’t follow them as they climb onto the roof of my car, brilliant girls, it totally worked. Wait, girls, why are you climbing onto the roof my car. “It’s the perfect spot to lay out blankets  and do crafts,”  yeah, nope, no sense in that one. Continue reading

Lunch with Leah

A life time ago I used to speak. I loved it. I would share at women’s retreats or Christmas luncheons. Sometime I would go with three other gals who had amazing stories of suffering, loss, redemption and victories.

It was funny how it came about. My mentor Paula had said for years that she wanted to connect me with Leah, another gal she mentored. She thought we would hit it off. Continue reading

Dear Bob

Well Bob,

I knew this day would come…

It hit me today that several days have passed and you were not there, not there crashing into my conversations- my dreams-on my life. I guess that is to be expected, that my thoughts of you would fade and that life would soon return to normal, and while you, dear Bob are starting to fade, life will never return to the way it was. It can’t. Continue reading

What His love must be like

The gang and I spent Monday visiting our friends down in Bonsall, California.

It was a great time of trampoline jumping and swimming for the kids and coffee and catching up for us moms.

On the way home, the older two were working on some homework. Now, before you are too impressed with how studious my children are, let me add a dose of reality. The only reason that they were working quietly on their assignments is because I had bribed them to leave their electronics at home for the day.  Continue reading

Hurray for clean days!!!

I LOVE days like today.

The car is clean. Check. House is clean. Check. Fridge is stocked. Check. Laundry is done and put away. Check.Check.

And I feel amazing, like for one brief moment all is well in the universe. I skip around, so pleasant and happy.  I love clean, like really love clean.

It’s such a rare occurrence that everything is neat and tidy all at the same time, and I just want to yell Freeze! Nobody move. Don’t touch a thing. Continue reading