Oh it’s happening.
Yep, I can feel it. I’m falling. Totally falling.
Dropping off my youngest at school, I pulled into the roundabout, smothered her with kisses and out she popped, wiping my slobber off her face. I glanced down at my phone to see a text, “Good morning Sunshine. You are sooooo beautiful.” It was him. Aaaah, I squeal, bouncing up and down in my seat. I love this. I happened to glance out the window of my car just in time to see the school aide chuckling as she watched my little happy dance. I guess its not too often you see a grown women making odd noises while doing a little jig in her car. I drove away, with a keen sense that my feelings for him were growing.
Imagine you and I, curled up on the couch together, our knees tucked close against our bodies. I lay my head into my legs; I start to giggle as I peek my head out.
I think I kind of like this guy.
“This is fantastic,” you blurt out, reaching over and shaking me a little, “so why the hesitation.”
I quickly chime in, Oh, I know. I love it. I can’t tell you how sweet this time has been. I keep thanking God. Thanking him for how gentle I have been handled. Thanking him for the moment, however short or long this moment may be.
But, I point out, falling for someone means I can get hurt. Not that I’m going anywhere, but it’s kind of scary at times. Actually, it’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
“Oooh, yeah, that makes sense,” you nod in agreement. (I love how you always agree with me)
And this got me thinking, dear sisters, isn’t that what falling is like? No matter what you are falling for- a person- a passion- your children- the Lord- there is the possibility of great joy and the fear of deep rejection, failure and hurt.
Some deem the risk too high and they avoid falling at all times. The cost is far too great.
And if that is the case, dear sisters… if that is the case, I want you to know that I understand. I get it. I get the fear. But fear keeps us stuck. Oh, it feels like it is keeping us safe, but in reality, it just keeps us stuck. It… just… keeps… us… stuck.
Come. Come. An adventure awaits.
Oh what we miss when life is void of falling- jumping- leaping, being vulnerable, the risk of the heart, mind and soul. Isn’t this truly the only way to happiness, to freedom? There is freedom in falling.
There is freedom, dear sisters.
I wonder how different life would look if we did a little more falling and a little less controlling.
Falling. Taking risks. Letting God be God.
So, dear sisters, I am choosing to fall. Fall in love my children, engaging them right where they are at, not where I want them to be. Fall for this guy. Fall in love with my passion for Africa. Fall in love with my Lord.