I am not even sure how to start writing again.
Part of me wants to explain why I disappeared, why I haven’t written in over a month, but then I realized that I would only be doing that to make myself feel better. I would be trying to give an explanation- a justification- and why would I do that?
As I have mulled this over a bit, I came to the conclusion that we ALL do this from time to time. That when we feel that we have let others down or we didn’t do what we “should” have or “ought” to, we attempt to give excuses or justifications or reasons, but those reasons are really to ease our own thoughts, not others…. because if we were to really think about, most of the time others don’t really care, at least those who love us don’t. They are just ready to move on.
Sometimes I am struck by the fact that we allow others to love us better than we love ourselves. We feel that we have to justify and explain rather than allow ourselves to be… to- just- be.
No explanation needed.
So, in this light, there is no apology included. No reason given as to why I have chosen to stop writing. Rather, I am putting a loving arm around myself and continuing on.
Oh dear sisters, maybe we think too much. Maybe we think too much how others perceive us rather than how we perceive ourselves. May this be our journey this year, to learn how to care for ourselves. May we learn how to care for our hearts and in turn, may our hearts be better equipped to love well those around us.