Well, it’s time…
“What! Didn’t you just get back and now you are leaving again?”
Yes, yes I did.
Yes, yes I am.
Oh dear sisters, isn’t it difficult sometimes to know what you are supposed to do. I mean, we want to follow God. We want to be where He wants us, but sometimes it’s so stink’in hard to figure out what that looks like.
Is this your heart God? Is this mine?
Take this opportunity…
This summer I was asked to join a team that is going to Uganda, to support the local pastors and leaders in South Sudan that have been displaced to the refugee camps in Uganda from October 1 through the 11th.
“You’re our trauma expert,” the gal kept saying. I tried to explain that I wasn’t really an expert simply passionate about this work, but I have given up. I’m the expert.
Now, normally I would have been all over it. I mean, this is right in my sweet spot, caring those that are caring for the people, but I knew I would be in India in August and I was hesitant to be away from my kids. No matter how much I love working with humanitarian workers, my first priority is raising my little gang.
I have a limit of how much I will travel in a year (only two trips of 2 weeks each) and while this fit, it was so close to my other trip. I love my babes and my mama’s heart misses them like crazy when I’m gone.
And, then there was the finances…. do you hear that, that noise?
Yeah, that would be God stretching me. Ughhh, so painful.
I started to do my little panic dance. You know the one, where we wring our hands a bit, and fret and fuss.
But, even in the midst of my fussing I continued to seek after Him, Lord, I gave you my life. Lord I gave you all of it and while I know you have called me first to be a mom , to care for my little team, I will follow you, but I need to know if this is where you want me to be.
I fasted. I prayed.
I just need an answer for crying out loud!!!
And right towards the end of my fast, I felt a peace that wasn’t there before.
I didn’t hear a voice, though I love when that happens.
No lighting bolt from heaven, although that would have been super cool.
But, a peace- a peace to walk forward.
That He brought this opportunity to me and I….
… I was to simply walk.
Okay, Lord. I am in. I’m going to Uganda.
And with that decision, His presence rushed in.
And I could feel it. On my face. Surging through my body. That feeling that you are right where you should be.
You see, sisters, sometimes we are to not called to do anything but to take steps, one foot at a time, to walk, stepping on what is in front of us.
Is this always easy… heck, no.
Because sometimes what is in front of us isn’t pleasant.
Do you know how many times I have cried and stomped my feet, proclaiming, Lord, I don’t want to walk there. Divorce. Broken pelvis. Bob. I’m not stepping there… please Lord, no.
But, the older I get the more I realize that it’s not about a good path, but walking with Him whatever that path looks like.
Knowing He is walking with me is what gives me comfort.
Knowing He is by my side is what gives me peace.
And isn’t that we are longing for, dear sisters, that peace?
A peace that tells you all is well with your soul.
So, dear friends, as I walk on the step that is in front of me I am asking for support.
Support in prayers. Support financially. Support.