In case you think this is going to be one of those posts about my amazing kid that cheered me on and texted all his friends to say how proud he was of me… it’s not.
In case you think that I am about to paint a picture of a kid that, bless his heart, was so tender and “Jesus-like” that it made the rest of us want to vomit… you’re in luck.
This is not that post.
I have a real kid. With a real response.
Jake came home yesterday from practice, his dad having dropped him off.
So… I’m guessing your dad told you about, um, what I did.
He looked at me the way he only does, his eyes getting all big as if he is sooooo used to my shenanigans by now and that there really is nothing that would surprise him.
“Yeah… dad told me.”
I smiled- my fake, like are we okay?, kinda of smile because keep in mind, dear sisters, this is a fourteen year old, high school boy. Boy, like boy and this is his world. These are his friends.
“Can I read it,” he asked grabbing cookies in one hand and shoving a bagel in his mouth (ughh, I am so jealous of the ways he eats, chocolate shakes filled with icrecream, bagels and cream cheese to his heart’s content, life is sooooo not fair!!!… sorry, momentary food distraction)
Yes, of course, but I am not sure you are going to like it.
I watched as he read it. He scrolled up and he scrolled down and then he sat my phone down and started to move on. Why do kids do this!!! It’s like you have no freakin’ idea what they are thinking and you are looking for any sign of – this is good- or this is social suicide- anything and they give you nada- nothing- and walk away. Ughhhh.
I tried to play it cool, which only makes me act weird.
So… I offer, trying to be all nonchalant about it as I casually open the fridge even though I am getting absolutely nothing.
“It’s good, mom”
“But I wish you wouldn’t have used my name.”
I had to think about that one for a sec.
Okay. Yeah, I get that. This wasn’t his battle. This wasn’t his choice to say something. it was mine and in retrospect I should have taken his name out of this and I get that, but…
…but, I have to believe that they are watching- our friends- our kids- our families- they are watching how we respond, when we keep silent and when we do not.
I have to believe that this was a sacred moment in our household when I chose not to be silent but to say something and I wonder, dear sisters, what God has placed in front of you.
What is He asking you to do?
What is He placing on your lap and saying to you, What, dear child, what will you do with what you have seen? What will you do with what you have heard? Oh you may see it as a thorn in your side or wished it passed you by all together. You may see it as an issue that causes you great pain, but what will you do with what I have given you?
He wastes nothing, dear sisters, even when we wish we could go back and omit our son’s name, He wastes nothing.