I, well we, are starting a new trend.
Yes, totally new. Never seen before… and when you start hearing the buzz, What’s this? Who came up with this? I just want you to know it started here. That’s right, right here, baby!
Okay, so hear me out.
It’s called SLO-DATING.
In the midst of a culture where everything is fast. Fast cars. Fast food. Fast internet. Fast girls. Fast marriages. Fast… we are slowing things down. I mean like really slowing things down.
To get a visual of how slow… check this out… and you’re welcome.
Think about it. Most daters, especially those of us of the older variety, end up living on the edges. It’s either super fast and they are super serious overnight, which if you want to know my not-so-lovely thoughts about ‘instant love’ you can read here, or they just want to be friends and there is no romantic involvement even when they do really like each other. They don’t touch. They try to avoid being alone. It’s like they are scared that they won’t have self-control, so they just try their darndest to shove down how they feel and distract themselves so “things” don’t get out of control.
We live in the extremes- totally in or totally out.
SLO-DATING is intentionally slow. Intentional fun activities. Intentional talks. Intentional boundaries. Little bitty steps. Microscopic at times.
Leaving room for friendship to grow and not be clouded by quick physical intimacy or enmeshment. (Enmeshment… overly intertwined so you lose your footing and find yourself hanging onto the other person. Yeah, this is so not a good place to be, dear sisters, because if you lose your footing than you are relying on someone else other than yourself and your Lord to hold you up and that gives someone else waaaay too much power in your life!) Okay, off my soap box and carrying on.
Is this hard? Heck ya. No, that is an understatement. It is tortuous at times, especially if you think the other person is really hot, ummm hypothetically speaking of course… but think about it. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, knowing that the other person has displayed self-control only builds trust and we NEED self-control when we are married too, right?
And when you slow down you don’t miss the little joys. The hidden ones. The thrill of gently touching ones arm. Holding hands for the first time. Finding alternate ways to connect and feel close.
What I like about this is that it’s not so black-and-white. Instead it’s a slow and steady incline. Imagine that.. gradually taking your time walking up a hill and enjoying the journey together.
You see, dear sisters, this allows us to enjoy the journey. The prize is the journey and who we walk with as we go not some illusive trophy waiting for us at the end.
In truth I can’t take full credit for it, because my “SLO-DATEE” came up with it, but I did have a hand in this. When the term ‘friend’ didn’t fit and we weren’t ready to say we were “dating- dating” we were looking for a new term- something in between. You don’t want to hear the names we rejected. They were pretty pathetic. Secret Lovers. Uh, nope. That just feels like 1980s cheese, right? Courtship. Ugh. Bring out the petticoats and horse-drawn carriages.
So we settled on this.
Watch for it. It’s going to be HUGE because with so much fast whipping around us, we are longing for a little bit of SLOW in our lives, are we not?
Oh, dear sisters, may it not just be SLO-DATING. May this be our year to start slowing down the pace of our lives. Slowing down our eyes to take in our world around us- our loved ones. Slowing down our ears to hear what others have to say, what our hearts are trying to say, what our Lord is speaking over us.
Don’t you think it is time, dear sisters? Don’t you think we are way overdue? Don’t you think it’s time to slow things down a bit?