Anonymous me

Do you ever wish that you could share completely open- totally bare- but be anonymous?

It’ s like my heart has so much to say, so much it wants to explore, but it holds back. I started thinking about what I would share if I were anonymous. Actually I have written several posts never to be seen just to feel the freedom in writing what I wish I could say, if my face were veiled.

Funny enough, I like these posts better. Raw. Bare. Hurting. Me. 

There is a beauty in that, is there not?

I often can hear myself cry from within, This is what I want to say. This is what I would say if someone couldn’t see my face. If I didn’t have to acknowledge it was me. I would tell them that I am hurting, that sometimes I look at God and jus shake my head and don’t understand. I would share my anger, my rage, over some of life circumstances. 

I would go deeper, like imagine deep for you and then take it down another notch or two. Scary, right?

Saying a little more. Baring a little more. Whispering words that only dare to be uttered.

I wouldn’t hold back… oh, how we hold back.

We have gotten so good at holding back, have we not?

And while maybe this blog isn’t the place I feel comfortable baring all, I do have Karin who hears everything. Every unacceptable totally inappropriate thought I think and issue I wrestle with. If you even knew what  I said to her yesterday your  jaw would hit the floor. That’s right, yep, let’s just close that. But that’s my safe place. My haven. My place to be accepted no matter what flies out of my mouth.

Isn’t that such a picture of our Lord, creating a safe place for us to be, to rest in our nakedness? Isn’t that what He sees?

This is my prayer for you, dear sisters, that you have those in your life that hear the unfiltered version of you, who love you in a crazy way that allows you to strip down.

Fully naked.

Bare.

Bare and unequivocally loved.

 

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