I’ve been stuck lately.
Not stuck in a bad way, but in that I am still protesting inside which is why I haven’t written.
So many times I have wanted to write. It’s like my mind is constantly threaded with stories I wish to tell. Ah-ha moments that make me feel like I am bursting inside, like I would just die if I didn’t let it out… and yet, I don’t because deep down I am craving the need to be anonymous, to share without hesitation.
Do I care too much about what people think? Maybe
Is it too raw- too naked- that maybe it shouldn’t be shared? Perhaps
I am not sure.
But what I do know is that for now, I am going to give it a try, creating another blog under which I can write anonymous… and let this voice inside of me have a chance to just let loose for a bit.
I may be back shortly or this might the a final good-bye. I am not sure.
So, thank you for all those who have walked with me as I shared about Bob, life, love, grief, parenting, dating and living. May my words have brought you encouragement- comfort- a true sense that you, my dear sister (and brother) are not alone.
Good bye for now, dear sisters…
One more thought.
Bob will get his yearly check up on April 15. Deep breath.
Still hard. Still makes me stop and swallow hard. Still makes me afraid.
So, before I say my good-bye for now, can I ask you to pray? Pray that I will feel God’s presence as I walk through this experience yet again. Pray that no matter the outcome I will feel him- His breath- His hand- his nearness as I move through this time.