crazy breeds crazy

Sometimes the craziness in my home just catches me off guard.

I find myself thinking, did I just get teleported to some kind of alternate universe?

Ever happen to you?

Take last Wednesday. The kids and I were sitting down for dinner. They were grabbing their napkins (aka paper towels because I don’t think I have ever bought a napkin in my life) and silverware and were headed to the table and our conversation went something like this.  Continue reading

Mel’s marking

I should be sleeping. I’m wiped. I know I should be. I am going to regret it tomorrow, but have you ever met someone who you couldn’t stop thinking about.

This is the story of my friend Mel. Well, he is not really my friend.

But, I wish he was.

You see, Mel and I have never met. Nevertheless, he has left a deep impression on my life.

Let me back up.  Continue reading

My so-called crazy life

I can’t even begin to describe this week. You know, sometimes we have weeks that are calm and smooth and everything goes as planned aaaand sometimes we don’t . They are crazy and chaotic, and then there are these rare ones that don’t’ even fit in chaotic. Like, you past chaotic a few days ago cuz they are just plain nuts.

Do you know what I’m talking about; we can’t catch our breath. We can’t add one more thing. Life can’t possibly move any faster! Continue reading

This is what happens when you eat See’s candy at night




What a weekend. I was out of town and arrived back  late last night. After I got settled, I found my See’s candy stash and popped two pieces in my mouth not even thinking that the chocolate would keep me up.  So there I was laying in bed, wide awake and wishing I was asleep, and I started giggling to myself. I was thinking about the See’s Candy I just ate when I was flooded by a not too distant memory.

Now, you have to understand, I love See’s candy, like totally love it, and my kids are hooked on it too.They even know the motto, “The happy habit.” Sad, but true.  It’s really not my fault. My mother and her mother- both See’s candy addicts.

In 2013, I fell and broke my pelvis. I won’t go into the details now, but lets just say hellish is an understatement. I was in the hospital for four days. Once I transitioned back home, I slept in a hospital bed and used a walker. “These are so cool,” my babes shouted with glee, as they cranked the bed up and down. Me…not so much. I  was completely miserable and to make matters worse, I couldn’t drive for two months. Being a single parent is hard enough, but this… this was a disaster.

The day came that I was given the okay to drive.  I picked up the kiddies from school and we made our first stop… you guessed it, See’s Candy.

So, we pulled up to our regular spot and in we went. Once inside, I noticed there was only one other customer, an elderly woman with a walker. No joke.  So, there we were. The two of us with our walkers and it hit me right then; I am in See’s Candy, a middle aged single woman with my walker… with my walker. Oh Lord, how in the world did I end up here?

“Look mom, she has a walker, like you,” my youngest shouted. Yeah, that’s great.

As I began to slowly make my way towards the counter, a gentleman entered the store. He froze midstride and just stared at me. Then he looked at her. Then back to me. Shaking his head, “Whoa. There is something really wrong with this picture.” At this point, Alex who had wandered over to the candies, returned to where I was. “Look what I can do,” she  exclaimed, as she hoisted herself up in to the splits using my walker can as a gymnastics bar. This just can’t get any worse. We’re a freaking three-ring circus.

What happened to you,” he asked. “Well, I broke my pelvis.” His eyes widened. “Well, I broke my hip last year,” the other lady chimed in. I stand corrected. Much worse. I will see your broken pelvis and raise you a broken hip Not exactly how I envisioned my first day out.

We chatted a bit more, then I continued making my way to the counter once I was able to get my gymnast to dismount. The other woman made her way to the door. As we slid our walkers past one another, I glanced over at her walker; “nice wheels.”  I might as well embrace the situation. She smiled and nodded, and kept moving.

Oh life, you are so unpredictable.  I used to wonder, dear life, why there was no rhyme or rhythm to you, why I couldn’t anticipate what you would do next; how one day I could be a young married, stay-at-home mom and the next a single middle-aged women in the middle of See’s Candy with a walker.

You see, I wanted to know what you would do so I could plan and prepare and feel safe. But that is not who you are.Your steadiness shows when the suns rises every morning, yet I am reminded that you are free to do as you please, bringing tragedy and sickness, a sudden loss of job, loss of spouse. And then I realized that when that safety and security come from within, come from my Lord, I am free to let you be you- whimsical and flowing- full of blessings, full of sorrow.  Such a mystery. Such a joy. 

Oh, dear life, may you never cease to amaze me. 



Not feeling super well.

Last night I wasn’t feeling well. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing.
After grabbing my kids from school,  watching my daughter’s volleyball game and making dinner, I crawled onto the couch, placing an ice pack over my eyes. A few minutes passed, then a few more. Oh Lord, I so wish you had skin on because I really need to be taken care of right now. I heard little footsteps. “Mama” I opened my eyes to find this.


The tears started to form. Hot tea and a love note. My heart melted. Oh Lord, you do take on skin. I just never recognize it as you!  They spilled over my cheeks as I reached for my phone. Alex started giggling and turned her head towards my son who was sitting on the other couch; “There she goes again, Jake. She’s blubbering.” Oh, bless’em.

As much as we love these moments and love sharing them with others, this is only part of the story. Sisters, let me tell you what you didn’t see. That same little angel left her lunch at home this morning and had a full-blown melt down on the way to school. In the last 24 hours I have been told that I am the most wonderful mom ever- like ever ever-  and that they wanted to trade me in for a new mom, preferably one that allows cell phones at the age of 12. Uh no, not happening.

So if you are struggling- children- spouse- job- health- I want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It’s tempting to fill in others’ stories with ease and perfection. The perfect kids. The perfect husband. The perfect job. But sisters, that is not the case. That is not the case!!! 

Follow up appointments are on the calendar

I scheduled my MRI and follow up appointment with my neurologist yesterday. We are set for October 13 and 15, respectively. Yes, it made me afraid. Even when I hung up the phone, I just wanted to crawl into someone’s arms and close my eyes. Funny, how we have these moments in life where we feel like a child again.

I’m scared, pop.

Arms would feel so safe right about now.

I tried to prepare my kids that I might be more emotional as I approach these appointments. We were driving home after  school (three different schools to be exact)“Guys, I just want to give you a heads up. I might be a little more weepy-emotional- than I usually am.” It was quiet for a second, then my middle one jumped in. “Mom, I just don’t see how that is possible. I mean really, last night you cried while we were watching the Chipmunks movie.” “Yeah,” my son quipped, “ we love you ma, but I’m not sure how much more you can cry.” Hmmm. They had a point. I started laughing as they brought up all the ridiculous things that I have cried over.  When Mulan cuts her hair and join the army.  A Johnny Test episode.(yep, definitely a low point)  Any commercial with a soldier returning home.  Oh, I love my babies. They keep me grounded, which is exactly where I need to be.