Alex’s observation

“Mom,” my youngest called while sitting in the front seat of our new car.

I heard her plea, but I didn’t respond. I was too busy swinging my head from side to side, making sure that I didn’t hit the, ummm, already crushed brick on the left of my driveway or trample over the grass on the right.

But she didn’t let up, “Maaaaam!,” she whined with attitude, a skill her old sister helped her perfect months ago.   Continue reading

My so-called crazy life

I can’t even begin to describe this week. You know, sometimes we have weeks that are calm and smooth and everything goes as planned aaaand sometimes we don’t . They are crazy and chaotic, and then there are these rare ones that don’t’ even fit in chaotic. Like, you past chaotic a few days ago cuz they are just plain nuts.

Do you know what I’m talking about; we can’t catch our breath. We can’t add one more thing. Life can’t possibly move any faster! Continue reading

This was me today… and this is what my mom did.

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Yep. This is exactly what I felt like today. Done.

Yesterday was bursting at the seams. My day didn’t end until well past ten o’clock, only to have to wake up to another jam-packed day. Now, I am not feeling sorry for myself  because I’m the one packing it, but with school, seeing clients and three kids I sometimes just want to scream. Scream that I seriously need like three of me. Scream that I am the luckiest girl that I get to be exactly where I am. Or maybe just scream because it feels so stinkin good to just scream for no reason. (you really have to try this)

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The celebration continues!

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I was running late to school. My professor knows that I’m always a few minutes late because I have to make my rounds with my gang… quick kisses and prayers and out they go. I try to make sure I don’t start driving away until their bodies have completely left the vehicle. It’s been close a few time. “Maaaahm. I’m not even out.” I squish up my face and offer a half grin, “Sorry love.” Oh they give me so much grace. Continue reading

I love you to the moon and back

 

 

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There is a story I want to share. It’s a story that reminds me daily that my God sees me. He sees me and Bob and the kids. He sees all that  my eyes can see and He sees what they cannot.

It’s the kind of story that you hear and you don’t really know what to make of it. It’ s easy to dismiss if it didn’t happen to you, but when it does… when it does, you find yourself at a crossroads. Are you going to try to rationalize it away or as crazy as it sounds, is it possible that God is speaking to you.

I was celebrating my 38th birthday with friends. We laughed and joked and hugged as we dined at Lemonade, one of my favorite restaurants in Pasadena. I left feeling full- a full stomach- a full heart. I felt loved. My dear friend, Karin, was spending the night. As the night winded down, we chatted for a bit about the next day. Karin has signed up for a special prayer time in the morning and then we were hoping to hike later that afternoon. As I drifted off to sleep, I recall not thinking of anything in particular, just thankful, thankful for my friends and my family. My cup was full.

That night I had a dream. I was pregnant and I somehow knew that it wasn’t my baby (it’s so odd how you just know things in dreams. I wonder if that’s what heaven will be like. Sorry, tangent:) I was carrying the baby for someone else. One minute I was pregnant and then next moment I blacked out. When I came to (in my dream) my six year old, Alex, was standing in front of me with the baby. Alex LOVES babies, so that wasn’t too hard to imagine. She was grinning from ear to ear, but I was in a panic. “What’s the baby still doing here,” I shouted. “It’s not ours.” “I don’t know mom, but isn’t she cute,” Alex squealed as she bounced her up and down on her hip. I felt stressed. I took the baby from Alex and I thought to myself, “She is hungry. She needs to eat.” I don’t know how I knew that, but I just did. I knew we didn’t have any food, so I headed outside. I opened the front door of my house and it was flooded, with water pooling right up to the door. I closed the door and took a few deep breaths. Then I opened the door a second time to find the waters had gone down and there was baby formula sitting on my front porch. I grabbed it, and some bottles on the grass and came in and fed her. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, this baby is really hungry. She eats like a three month old.” And then I woke up.

It was such a bizarre dream; I relayed it to Karin over coffee the next morning. “What do you think it means,” she asked. “I don’t know,” I mumbled, shaking my head, “ but it was definitely different.” God, are you trying to talk to me?

After her prayer time, Karin opted for a nap while I took off to tackle my favorite mountain. Returning a few hours later, I realized I didn’t have my keys, so I knocked on the door. As I did so, I noticed a small package sitting on my front porch. It had been delivered with the mail. I bent down for a closer look and was startled by what I saw. It was a box of baby formula, like real formula. I started freaking out. No, freaking out is an understatement. I started to scream. “Karin! Karin!” I was now knocking like a mad women. She opened the door still a little groggy from her nap. She looked bewildered as she was trying to decipher my jumping up and down and pointing at the ground. And then she saw it… yep. Baby formula So now there were two of us. Yelling. “Whoa.” Bending down. “What the heck.” Jumping. Screaming. “This is crazy” Neither of us touched it. We just kept staring at it and yelling and laughing. Baby formula on my front porch.

So what do you do with something like that, besides freakout and jump up and down? I’m not sure. I know many would feel there is an interpretation of some sorts, that the baby means something and so forth. I have had a few years to think about it and what continues to stand out to me is this simple message:

“Alisa, if you have ever doubted it before, if you ever doubt it again, I want you to know that I see you. I see you. I see every detail. I knew when this formula would arrive and I knew where it would be placed. I knew the moment you would have that dream and I orchestrated it all. Alisa, I see you. I see every thought-every hurt- every joy- every trial. I see it all and I love you dear one. I’m crazy about you. I love you, dear one, I do. I love you to the moon and back.” I have kept the box of baby formula on my nightstand for two and a half years as a reminder that …

I am seen. I am known…. and I am loved. The God of the universe… He is near. .

Sisters, if there is one thing that remains with you today, let it be that HE SEES YOU. He hasn’t forgotten about you. He hasn’t lost interest. He is wild about you. He knows you. He knows every detail of your life and He is near. Take heart dear sisters, He is near.